Tuesday, November 29, 2005

well, today has been bad. nothing but talk about the game, and i'm sick of it. yes, we made bad choiced, so did they, both teams also could have reacted wrongly to some things during the game, i don't care whos side anyones on, im stuck in the middle, like normal.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Events of the day

Ok, so here's what happened today. I got up, did some homework, quiz, drum stuff, took a shower, got dressed, had Sarah cut my hair (it looks a million times better and she didn't really cut anything so that was good.) and I came back and ate then left. We dropped Rachael off at shadeland, where I was practicing Christmas stuff in the corner, and mr. Riggle comes and does some stuff, like he really knows what he's doing and it was so cool! Lol, so then we went to fife and drum, which was mixed. We got there at like 5:45 and Preston got there at... About 6:10, and the first thing that happened was I told him I had to leave early and he wanted to see my teeth since I got my braces off, he's so cool. Lol, then we were gonna work on Christmas stuff but Michael got there late, so we only did Christmas stuff for like ten minutes so that was blah... I'm really not ready. Lol, we'll see how the parade goes.
So we were working on the drum solo, and I was just really not getting this one part of it, and Lorne was sitting there laughing at me, I almost just started crying because I'm very emotional today. :-p
We left practice at about 7:15 (45 minutes early) and I changed into my cheer skirt and shoes and we left. We got to the game, we were playing FACA (First Attembly Of God... Not sure why they're called faca (pronounced fah-kuh) when their initials are FAOG, lol, but whatever) anywho, their refs were calling these totally bogus things, we got a technical (justin did) for getting mad at a bad call and slamming the ball, that was reasonably understandable, though Becky said the game earlier (girls) a girl had done that three times and no one called it, anyways, then Mr. Sebald said he was frustrated, and they called another tech on him, then about a minute left in the FIRST quarter, these two guys smash into Ben, ref calls foul on HIM, he got mad at that call and was I guess arguing with the ref so the ref does this, he makes the sign for technical, and goes "Technical, you're out!" so he ejected him from the game for ONE technical, so Ben got REAL mad, angrily took his jersey off, and went down to the locker room. All the other four people followed, then everyone on the bench got up and left. They went to the locker room, got changed, and went home. Seven minutes into the game. Mr. Leer already cancelled our last game with them and I bet we don't play them for five years. Lol, Mr. Leer also I think is gonna report the refs for being so bad. So I skipped 45 minutes of fife and drum for ten minutes cheering, is that crazy or what?
After the "game" we went to the grandparents house so visit, and Mark called me... I wondered how he got that phone number, lol, I guess I called him once on it so he had it saved in his phone as me. He was calling to tell me he got Corp epresentative, which is good because he wanted it:) We talked for a little while then I said I'd call back later.
In the van, I called Audrey to tell her about the game, then she had to leave so I called Mark back and talked for about 15 minutes until he had to go to bed. So now I'm just posting the events of the day, and my impressions:
Lorne: UGH!
Mark: congrats
Game: Legendary
Preston: the coolest teacher on earth

Tomorrow? Who knows...
Have co op, have to do my 1AC... Scary, Dad's checking it now for... Goodness. Lol, then I have basketball practice, where we'll probably just talk about the game, haha. Anywho, this post is pretty long so I'll sign off. Check some other blogs, haha. I should go to bed soon because I have to get up at... Seven tomorrow. So if I got to bed now, I should get about seven hours of sleep, which is seven more than last co op night. LOL... Oh no, I have to wait and see what dad does to my speech, then go to bed. Night!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Shopping

Thursday: Thanksgiving. It was pretty good, food and all, then we watched polar express, played a game and went home.
Friday: Tree Day!
Pretty interesting. I woke up at three in the morning, to go christmas shopping with the sales, lol, well I did real well, but we didn't get home til around ten. Then Sarah and Aaron weren't ready to go yet so we waited around a little while, then mom felt sick. So sick for about two hours that she went to the doc but about two minutes away she felt quite suddenly better... weird. So we all piled into Sarah and Aaron's van and the grandparent's car and went to the tree farm. They didn't have any good trees growing, so we ended up getting this great pre cut tree, sad yes, but still ok., And we have yet to finish decorating it.... Lights, I can't figure out how to do them and dad hasn't done them so we're stuck. I think tomorrow after I get homework done I'll figure out how to do lights and stuff.
Saturday, more shopping, later, but it was blah. I'll tell more later. Right now I'm freaking our because I thought we had a MONTH to study for the final exam things, but we really only had two WEEKS to get it done... so I'm totally freaking out. I have to take one quiz tonight, one tomorrow, and I guess I'll stay up late studying for the final. I'm dead meat and really really ticked off. Later.
Ohhhh! I just checked the paper, it's NOT on tuesday! Thank God!
So anyways, Friday we kinda just hung out the rest of the day (there wasn't a lot of day left, lol) and right now looking at the tree, I think it's crooked. Lol, Very crooked.
Saturday: I didn't get up til around ten, then I came out to watch the movie that was playing, but mom said it was time to go shopping, I hadn't even known we were going. Lol, so anyways, we went to some store... Target, then to wal mart, then to toys r us, then we locked the keys in the van and had to walk and wander the mall waiting for Rachael to bring us a key. Lol, so it was interesting... The bad part was we were carrying these stupid toys r us bags. LOL.
Today: I got up ar around 7:15, shower, dressed, other junk, back in bed by eight. Then I sleapt til around 8:45 and ate and went to church (no that's not normal to go back to bed, but Heather was here and I didn't know if I'd be able to shower when everyone wanted in at eight. Lol).
After church we went to grandparents where we had this great turkey pie, we thought it was totally ruined because my dad forgot to take off the PLASTIC top before putting it in the oven... LOL, but amazingly it didn't melt so that was good. After that, we hung around a little while, then went on the road to the nativity thing. It wasn't as good as it usually is, and it was the last year they were doing it so I was sad. Anywho, then we went to mcdonald's, it was ok, I had a salad. I think I'll just get a more normal salad next time. Lol. Anywho, we got home around 10:30 and I got on here, freaked that finals were tuesday instead of two weeks from tuesday, then recovered after looking at the paper. Now I'm going to bed, night!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Hello hello, so yesterday I wanted Sarah to cut my hair, well I had to help her paint before she would, so I was over there for like five hours, then we had to leave for dickens, which lasted an hour longer than I thought it was going to so I got home too late for Sarah to do it and I was depressed, I got online and talked to Chris and Ethan... Ethan was being real weird but he did get me in a better mood... it was more confused than depressed. Lol.
Then I went into my room and tried to put on a skirt to see if it still fit so I could wear it today, well somewhere while I was putting it on my back did something weird and I couldn't even stand up for a little while, so I went to sleep hoping it would be better today, and it is a lot better but it still really hurts.
I've decided that dressing up is not going to happen. I mean I'm going to thanksgiving dinner at the grandparents, I wanna be comfortable. So instead of a skirt and nice shirt, I'm wearing my painted in athletic pants (love love love them!) and my cookie monster shirt.
In about an hour we're going to the grandparents... Maybe I should see if Sarah will cut my hair now? Probably not... but maybe. I'll see. laters! Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

teeth

Hey there.
Today I got my braces off! I'll put a picture on if I can figure out how. My bottom teeth look weird, I think but the top ones are pretty perfect. Lol. The ratainer is weird, but I expected that. Right now I'm just on here, then I might go take a nap before I have to make supper and go to basketball practice. Anywho, I guess I'll go now. Short post. Lol, laters!
Happy birthday, Chris!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

ok, so I'm officially depressed, lol. yesterday I had to get up at 6:30, go to a 4-H officer meeting, then decorate the float, then go home and clean so we could do the bonfire. Well, neither audrey or mark could come, then chris got real mad at me because i didn't invite him and wasn't listening to that he'd had abad day too, so i'm blocked, i guess i don't know what to do... try to apologize through an email, a different screen name, or just leave him alone? i'm thinking the leave him alone sounds good right now. if he's still got me blocked it must mean he's still mad. anyways, today i went to church, then to grandparents to eat, then to smith's to look at some clothes, then home. that's about it. i took a nap then watched movies and talked on the phone and junk. later

Thursday, November 17, 2005

An interesting thing happened today.
We were on our way into town, when this car comes speeding past us in a no passing zone. We were going 50 mph so we figured he hadda be going about 70. lol, he then slowed down a little and we stayed within sight of him... Soon we saw him turn. Right into the Chitty's driveway! Lol, Rachael said "I thought he looked familiar!" and so we figured it probably was Nick. It might not have been, but that's who we figured. Lol, I just found that funny.
Anywho, tomorrow I have a game, and I have umm... Three tests to study for, then the finals so it's not so nice but oh well. Right now I'm drinking hot chocolate (cold, actually) which I blended with ice, it's really great.
Tonight I had to go to the murdock talent show, where I thought I would play my snare for the first time with audience. Well Michael has pnemonia so he wasn't there poor thing, and lorne totally freaked out when he saw I had my snare, then they were all asking me these stupid questions like "do oyu have your bass drum beaters?" first, they're not beaters. They're mallots. Second, do they really think I'm so dumb as so be playing my bass and NOT have my mallots?
I just really dislike lorne. Lol, he just gets on my nerves. So does his brother. oh well.
Right now, well I was talking to Alissa, I said hi to chris but he's busy, and Audrey's not on it looks like. Oh, she is on but she's away.
Ok, now I think I'm gonna go. Mark totally missed the thing today, and I forgot to call him, so I'll have to call tomorrow and see if they can come and get them directions. Laters:)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Stuepod mio!

Omg, I am so retarded. It's 1.30 A.M. and I'm still trying to get my homework done, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is that I still have to watch this stupid movie, I'll hope it's only about an hour long. I still have to fold clothes and junk so it shouldn't be too hard to watch while I'm doing that. Anywho, I hafta go. Just wanted to let y'all know I'm not dead... yet.

Monday, November 14, 2005

1) Do you have a cell phone? not my own
2) Do you like boots?sometimes
3) Do you have a cat? again, not my own, however we do have several cats running around here.
4) Have you ever gone bungee jumping? no:-p
5) Do you wear FAKE pearls? I don't wear pearls at all
6) Have you ever shoplifted? not that I remember
7) Have you ever stolen candy from the candy shop? no
8) Do you live in an apartment? no, I have a nice little house
9) Have you ever stayed up all night? yes:-D
10) Do you like little kids? usually
11) Do you take pictures of people's toes? yep
12) True or false: You have a sister named Mackenzie - false
13) Do you like to perform? YES
14) Have you ever been to Chicago? yep
15) Does your mom know you have a MYSPACE? I dunno
16) Does your mom HAVE a myspace? not that i know of, LOL
17) Have you ever cut yourself (on purpose)? no, that's dumb.
18) Are you famous in your own little world? ummm... Idk?
19) Have you ever met a celebrity? not really talked to, but I have "met" people at the meet and greet and the concerts I've ben to
20) Do you like Hilary Duff? not really... Lol
21) Do you like to take pictures of yourself? sometimes:)
22) Why are you taking this survey? because I got it from audrey
23) Do you like oversized sunglasses? NO!
24) Do you like Paris Hilton? not particularly
25) Do you play with bubbles? sometimes
26) Are you a redhead? no, brown
27) How many uncles do you have? umm... None by birth, three by marrage
28) What kind of computer do you have? right now I'm on a windows
29) Are you superstitious? no, I pretend sometimes though
30) Do you read the dictionary for fun? not usually, lol
31) Do you shop at Hollister? nope
32) Have you ever been called a loser? yah
34.) Do you own an Ipod? nope
35) Are you a skater? Are you saying "skater" or "sk8er"? Niether one, actually, but I just wantedt to check:-p
36) Do you think spelling "skater boy" like "Sk8er boi" is cool or weird? well, I think it's a really great song...
37) Do you like Britney Spears? nooooo. Ugh
38) Have you ever had an eating disorder? nope
39) Have you ever been to Israel? nope
40) Do you like to wear polka dots? definately not
41) Do you and your friends like to hang out at diners? I don't hang out with friends very much and I don't know of any diners around here.
42) Do you steal sugar packets from restaurants? sure
43) Do you speak French? nope
44) Are you Jewish? no, but I do celebrate passover
45) Are you/were you ever a Girl Scout? no
46) Do you watch SNL? what's that?
47) Do you believe what you read in tabloids? I only ever see them in the grocery store lines, the fronts of them. Sometimes
48) Are you a pyromaniac? no, lol
49) Do you have a fish? no
50) Have you ever partied all night? if a sleepover counts, yes.
51) Do you want to join the Navy? no
52) Do you eat string cheese by peeling it or just biting it? peeling
53) Do you like cranberry juice? yuck, no
54) Do you want to be a model? umm, no...
55) Do you play the French horn? LOL, no
56) Do you call fries "French fries" or "Freedom fries"? French fries. The whole "freedom fries"thing is just lame.
57) Do you like sparkly things? yes:)
58) What does your mousepad look like, if you have one? don't have one
59) Do you watch Family Guy? no
60) Do you cheerleader? well I don't"cheerleader" but I do "cheerlead" which makes me a "cheerleader."
61) Do you pop your collar? ?
62) Do you shop at Hot Topic? no, I've only ever been in there once. lol
63) Do you live in a city? no
64) Do you read Harry Potter? no
65) Are you athletic? sort of
66) Do you like chocolate? yes!!!
67) Have you ever lived in Kansas? no
68) Do you have satellite TV? no
69) Are you a dancer? no
70) Do you like Doritos? yes, me loves them
71) Do you smoke? no
72) Are you in a band? no, but I used to be. First were "florecsent Penguins" then we were "Viable Alternative" then we were... no more. Lol
73) Do you wear Bermuda shorts? no
74) Do you work out at the Y?I say this a lot, no
75) Have you ever paid for something in all nickels? nope
76) Do you like strawberry ice cream? yep:)
77) Have you ever passed out? umm, I don't think so.
78) How many bones have you ever broken? I might have broken my finger last year but that's it. oh yeah, and I chipped a tooth one time if that counts. LOL
79) Do you make prank calls? only on rare occasions when I'm in weird moods, and only to my friends.
80) Have you ever sent a lot of pizzas to an enemy so they'd have to pay for them? LOL no, but it's a good idea
81) Do you have a digital camera? my family does
82) Do you like shopping at Staples? not especially
83) Have you ever cut class? no
84) Do you shop at abercrombie? no
85) Have you ever shot spitballs when the teacher wasn't looking? no, but if I did I sure wouldn't wanna get caught!
86) Have you ever kissed someone just to make your crush jealous? no, I've never kissed anyone, period. Except maybe once in a dreamO.o
87) Has anyone rejected you when you asked them out? i've never asked anyone out, so no..
88) Have you ever had a friend tell a crush you liked them? no, if I want them, to know I tell them myself.
89) Do you ski? I have skied and it was great, but I don't do it normally.
90) Are your parents strict? sometimes
91) Do you play lacrosse? no, I don't really even know what it is:-p
92) Have you ever been evicted? not that I know of:-p
93) Have you ever gotten detention for something you didn't do? umm, I've gotten grounded for something I didn't do..
94) Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? umm... Yes, actually. Once for like half a day, lol and she didn't know it.
) Have you ever gotten drunk? not on alcohol o.O;
96) Do you have a crush on a celebrity? not at the moment
97) Have you ever gotten a haircut that everyone had and then the next day it was "uncool"? no. The only "cool cut" I ever wanted my mom wouldn't let me get, so
98) Have you ever got caught in the undertow at the beach? no...
99) Do you like steak? yes:-D
100) Do you go to the mall with your friends just to do drugs? no, that's dumb. Why would I waste my friend time trying to make myself so I didn't care who i'm with?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Rambling...

Ugh, so last night I had this huge long post and then the computer died. lol, here's what's been happening.
Friday we had basketball games, rachael got out of cheering for varsity because she was playing, then all the JV's cheered with varsity so it was interesting. I had melissa on one side of me being moody and wanting to do cheers we didn't know, and alissa on the other side complaining about how she didn't like these cheers and did we have to do them and couldn't we just sit down... No we can't just sit down, we're cheerleaders, our job is to cheer! If we had more cheers, we would do them, but we don't. And besides that, i just played an entire game of basketball and i'm still being cheerleader. She did cheer with JV but still, stop complaining about being tired. You can do that after the game. Anywho, all four teams lost. Both guys lost pretty bad, JV girls lost by 4 points, I think we could have beat them if Liz Lee had been able to play the whole time, i guess mr. Riggle didn't want her getting tired for HIS team or something. Anywho, I made a bastet and that was cool, already beat last year's record (1 basket, LOL).
Varsity girls lost by three points, I heard Becky tried for a three pointer andt hey fouled her but the refs didn't call it.
After the games, we went to Culvers, the other team decided to go there too so it was sooooo crowded. lol, and I was like all scared because Ihate big crowds. They really scare me, especially when I should be having fun with people my age, but I don't really like people my age. lol
yesterday (saturday) I woke up at like 6:30 and came to grandparent's house, then I was working on school and fell asleep until like 10:00, so i took a shower and did stuff, sometime before 11:00 grandma left, went to a funeral of a lady she helped take care of (her name was Lois) and didn't get back til 1:00, so I just got on the computer and did stuff until about 2:20 when Audrey came and picked me up. We went back to her house and hung around, we either did the coolest thing or the lamest thing. lol, we sorted yarn. Some people would think that was lame, like we couldn't think of anything else to do so we sorted yarn, ooh boy. The way I'm looking at it is, we had fun just sitting listening to music and sorting yarn. That's cool, that it doesn't matter what we're doing we can still have a good time, you know? Anywho, we were gonna go to the mall, but we decided not to, we stayed there and watched "My man Godfrey" it's an old black and white. It was pretty funny. I asked my mom if I could just spend the night since if I didn't i was gonna spend the night at the grandparent's, and she said no... I'm not exactly sure why, i asked and got yelled at so...
So after the movie they brought me back here where I got on the computer, worked on a blog and stuff, right now I have to go help make the bed. Brb
Ok back. Anywho, what I did was just hang around, be creeped out because I was the only one awake at 10:00. Lol, I felt like I should go to bed, but I never go to bed until like 11, but I was in bed at 10:30 here. lol, it was scary. Then the cars were being annoying.
Jordan has pink hair and an earring... Wow. lol, that's all i have to say on it consider I don't know him, lol, I like the hair though, it was a neat shade of pink:-p
I woke up today at around 7:30, got a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast then did this devotion thing with grandparents. After that I got my stuff ready to go and got on here to post.
We're going to church in about ten minutes, then after church we have to go the Justin M's surprise birthday party. Ooh boy, exciting. I don't want to go because I don't even know the person, and there's gonna ba tons of people there and it'll be scary. i really really really don't want to go. But of course i'll be made to go, lol. I told them I didn't know him and they laughed. Grrr.
Audrey and i took some cool pictures, one of our feet and another of our hands. We tried elbows and knees but they didn't work very well. I'll get them from her sometime and put them on here if I can figure out how. Lol, right now I'm gonna go though, Hafta leave soon and I wanna check on some other stuff. laters:)

Friday, November 11, 2005

Oh man. Stuff has been interesting since my lat post. Last night we went to practice, and Mr. Harford was helping and stuff... Ok, so I didn't know what was going on. I guess he's an assistant coach now or something, I don't like him but I'll live. Lol, then I felt like I was gonna faint, so we went and got something to eat then came back for cheerleading practice, and for some reason I was like not allowed to be flyer even though I was better at it, they kept trying to put alissa up so that made me kinda ticked, then I got home and I was way too happy, no reason at all, just happy. So I worked on homework and then went to bed. I actually got to sleep around 11:15, then I woke up at around 9 and came out and worked on homework, folded clothes, and now I'm back on homework. I'm actually getting there, kind of. Lol, I need some more advantages and then an intro and a conclusion, it shouldn't be that hard... I hope.
My mom's not sure if we'll do basketball and cheerleading next year b/c a certain un named coach is taking practices way too seriousely or something, he's calling these practices when there shouldn't be practices then getting mad at people for not showing up to them so yeah, that stinks. A lot. Mom's really depressed, which makes me depressed. I'm working on homework right now, in about two hours we have to leave to go to a game in plainfield, about two hours away from here, an hour and 15 minutes from lafayette. JV boys and girls play at the same time, then I have to switch and cheer for the boys so that'll be interesting. Really. Lol, and also pretty blah, I hate switching from playing to cheering like that, I'm so sweaty and gross when I get into my cheer stuff. Grr. Oh well. I'll live, I hope. Lol, I really REALLY wanna do something with audrey this weekend but we don't think anything'll work so that's blah, I have tons of homework still but I'd put it off to do something with her because I miss you like crazy. Lol, Chris left this morning to go to the debate tournement, he'll be debating with David Wilson and they'll be gone until Sunday I think. Anywho, I'm gointa go now, ttyl

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Hey there. Last night a lot of things happened. Audrey and I had a conversation, I think everything's good now, then Chris and I had a fight, it's so dumb, but he got mad, then I got mad because I got him mad, so I left and did homework and stuff. I'm actually getting somewhere on my homework, I'm very happy. Lol, if I can get this one thing done today, then I can read my founding fathers stuff, take my test when I get home, and do the next debate thing tomorrow. That should work, if I can get one debate thing done a day I should be able to get all my homework done. But I have three tests to take at home, haha, as if. Anywho, I hafta go do homework. Oh yeah, hi Jon, have you been reading this? You said you wanted to, so here it is! Lol, I'll just go now and get stuff done haha, got basketball practice tonight and I think I have to leave at like three or four. Laters

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Games and stuff

Ok, so last night junior girls and guys had their first game.
Girl's game: It was tight all the way, nine seconds left, score was 13-15, their lead, their posession. So we pretty much figured we were gonna lose, but we were still gonna try, so dad calls a time out, and tells us man to man full court press. We do that, and this girl from the other team goes up with this perfect shot... Right into OUR basket! So then it was tied, 15-15, I think we could have made another shot, but everyone was so confused I didn't know I was supposed to take it out, lol, so we went into overtime, three minutes more. We scored, they scored, we scored. Game over, we won:). I feel soooo sorry for the girl who shot into our basket though.
The ref's were scary, the one guy was ok, but he was still kinda scary, I guess you had to be there, but then there was a lady ref, so I was already scared of her since the last one we had was TERRIBLE, so I'm like oh great, another girl, this is gonna be bad. Then, I find out this creepy lady is gay so I'm double scared of her, then she made me mad. Lol, I have never gotten mad in a game before but I got MAD at this game, it was really weird. Anywho, I started, that was cool. Starters were Liz Lee, Liz Davey, Melissa, me, and Abby. That left Maria, Katie, and Sabrina on the bench (they did get in later though, poor Katie got in for like two minutes:-p)
After the game, I got changed, got some food, then yelled for the poor quiet JV cheerleaders, it was so funny, they were doing "awesome" when the other team got the ball and crazy stuff, it was neat. They were having fun though, so. They were also very nervous poor things, it was their first game cheering so. Anywho, I got home, watched the amazing race, worked on homework, and cleaned part of my room. I was cleaning out my bag, the one that had my basketball stuff in it, and I took my stuff out that I had been wearing during the game, and it was WET, I mean I thought something had been spilled on them but there wasn't anything in there TO spill, so I guess I sweat a lot more than I thought I did. Weird.
Boy's game: We lost. Bad. Cheerleaders were cute, but the game was pretty sad. Lol, poor guys, they try so hard and I don't think they have only won like three game ever in their two year exhistence.
Today: Today I am at home, working on homework and lookng for a picture that I've taken to see if it's good enough to enter in a contest. Just a little while ago mom had us all go and clean stuff because a cop might be comeing later, because our mail is like disapearing. We've lost two credit cards and a check that were supposed to come in the mail, and sarah's missed all her bills. It's weird, so people think maybe someone is taking the mail after it gets put in our box. So the cop's gonna come and talk to people or something.
I think today would be a really great kite flying day, too bad I have so much homework I don't really have time to do that. I was supposed to call audrey back last night but the phone was upstairs and it was kinmda later and I figured I might get in trouble if I went and got it so. I'll call her tonight if I don't go to the fife and drum board meeting. (I'm not on the board, but I'm assistant drum major so I might as well get used to goign to them, I have to go when Rachael's out)
This is a huge post, I think, so I'm going to go now. Mom's vacuuming the... kitchen? Lol, yes, she is vacuuming the kitchen floor. Lol, Rachael's doing some lord of the rings thing on the computer, james is probably cleaning his room or something, mom told him to do that, and when I go I'll be doing homework and cleaning my room. Anywho, not a lot more to day here. Oh, except sorry, audge for being ticked at you, I was in a weird mood and I love you:)
Laters

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

well hi. I've had a thoroughly bad week. Had co op on tuesday, didn't have my homework done so i was in trouble, wednsday i had to go to the zoo for caspian's birthday, (he's two) thursday i don't even know where i was, but i wasn't home, friday i had a game and we left way early for it, saturday i had to go shopping with mom, sunday i cleaned the yard, monday i cleaned the yard then felt like a retard because they just loaded all these new songs on me that i don't know and everyone kept telling me "good job" which doens't help when i know perfectly well i did terrible.
I havn't been able to find anything for my stupid debate class, I have my first game tonight, ooh boy, I'm so excited about losing, because quite honestly we're not good. people keep saying stuff about "you wanna be with varsity so you have to start with jv" well, no actually, i won't be doing varsity even if i get good enough, think about it --> play with jv, or sit on the bench with varsity. Besides that i don't really like the coach on that team, there's way too much pressure to win and stuff, you know? audrey and chris are becoming the best friends ever, apparently he's not too busy to talk to her but the one time i get on all week he's too busy for me. do you know what that feels like? it feels like... idk what. not good. my stupid hand wasn't working very well last night, it was annoying, that was partially why i couldn't do anything with my snare so it was dumb. i should have gone to the jr. leader meeting, it would have been fun at least. Know what it seems like? it seems like yeah, i've got some good friends, but they all have someone else if they want to talk, i don't really matter. audrey=kori, jon, elaine, whoever else at school or wherever. Chris=audrey, brian, namita, he's got a lot of friends. mark=shara, fherra. i have a basic routine these days, get up, listen to the radio a little, get on the computer and work on debate junk, clean the yard, go wherever i have at night, get home, try to read stuff for school, cry, sleep. i need a hug. and i need a person who i can talk to, right when i need them. i usually need someone at around 11 at night, too late to call. I cry entirely too much these days.
the thing with my one friend, she's so depressed all the time, and she tries to fake this happiness. it makes me cry. that's a lot of what makes me cry every night, knowing that she's hurting and that i can't help her. it's probably stupid for me to put this on here, where anyone can see it, but i don't really write in my normal journal anymore so this is the closest thing. if you don't like it, don't read it. audrey's really the only one who does anyways so. why do i even bother? most people my age are either stupid or not worth knowing. i'll just become totally dedicated to my schoolwork... haha. yeah right, i need friends. it doesn't help ruth always saying stuff like "i didn't have really good friends until i was about your age either" i had really good friends. i had the best friends anyone could ask for and then i don't know what happened. school started, everyone got busy, no time for people anymore. i guess. Anywho, i suppose I'll have to go. I'm trying to find music so i don't have to buy it and junk. Laters