Saturday, May 26, 2007

RelientK

when i made up my mind
and my heart along with that
to live not for myself
but yet for God
somebody said
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

when i finally ironed out
all of my priorities
and asked God to remove the doubt
that makes me so unsure of these
things i ask myself
i ask myself
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

i'm getting into you
because you got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you
because i've got to be
you're essential to survive
i'm going to love you with my life

when he looked at me and said
"i kind of view you as a son"
and for one second our eyes met
and i met that with the question
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

i'm getting into you
because you got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you
because i've got to be
you're essential to survive
i'm going to love you with my life

i've been a liar and i'll never amount to
the kind of person you deserve to worship you
you say you will not dwell on what i did
but rather what i do you say
"i love you and that's what you are getting yourself into"

i'm getting into you (getting into you)
because you got to me (because you got to me)
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you (getting into you)
because i've got to be (because i've got to be)
you're essential to survive
i'm going to love you with my life

i'm getting into you (getting into you)
because you got to me (because you got to me)
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you (getting into you)
because i've got to be (because i've got to be)
you're essential to survive
i'm going to love you with my life

you said "i love you and that's what you are getting yourself into"

Monday, May 21, 2007

St. Charles, 2007

This weekend was St. Charles, the first weekend event of the year for the Voyageurs, and my very first drum major event. I generally go through the days, so that's what I'll do:
Friday: Left home at around 3:30, didn't realize that Lafayette where everyone was meeting wasn't on our way, but we'd arranged to get Audrey from there, so we had to meet everyone=P Then I called Audrey when we were almost there and figured out that she was thinking of a different gas station than the one we were actually meeting at so her mom was rather upset. Left Lafayette at about... 4:45. Time changed on our way, so it was an hour earlier there and we stopped for dinner something around 6:30 our time, I think. Audrey, Rachael, and I all got things out of one of those quarter machines. First I got this huge ring, then Audrey got a bracelet, and Rachael got a ring. We decided to try again and see what else we got and I got this cool green bracelet, Audrey then got a ring, and Rachael got another ring... That was sad, so she tried again (it was a 25 cent machine, not 50 so it was ok. Lol) and finally got a bracelet. Anyways, left there and kept driving for a long time. We slept a lot of the way there and got in something around 9:45 their time. (All of this is changed to their time now, which is an hour earlier than our time. So we really got in at 10:45) Got all the stuff in, and I honestly don't remember what we did... We sat around, got Skittles, Snickers, and drinks from the snack room and sat around doing nothing until it was bedtime. They turned the lights off and we then decided to brush our teeth, lol. Audrey went to sleep pretty soon after that, but Rachael and I couldn't. Rachael sat there writing for a long time, and I just sat there looking at the light that didn't turn off and thinking. Then Kathy started snoring, and Mark and Caleb started laughing at her. Well Mark has this infectious laugh so it made me laugh too. I kept trying to listen to music or read to fall asleep but it wasn't working, so I wrote a letter and then read again until I fell asleep at something around 2:30 (3:30).

Saturday:
Woke up at 6 (7) and the showers were actually nice! Usually they're either freezing cold or so hot you can't stand in them for longer than two seconds=P Got dressed into uniform-ness, and had to put all our stuff in this other room because they were using the gym for something else during the day ("they" being other people besides us.) Anywho, went to St. Charles (we were actually staying in Godfrey, Illinois which is about... half an hour-45 minutes away from St. Charles) and Terry and I went to the officer meeting thing, which they moved to half an hour later without telling us, and then they had it early and I think I missed it... It was really confusing. Flag raising was at 9:30 and then we had a parade at 11. Nothing after that until we all had to be back by 1:30 for the show, so we warmed up a bit and then I went and watched the other shows. They were actually pretty boring... Lol. Highlanders always have basically the same show, Janesville hardly has a show, and I was kind of dead when I was watching Tippy. Everyone else... I didn't really notice. 1812 was alright, but it wasn't really a show. For what they had it was cool though=)
While we were there, sometime after breakfast Janesville got there and Nick was there. Nick is a snare drummer who I met like... Three years ago, maybe? -possibly- four years ago. Anywho, he wasn't at the feast with his corp so that was sad, but he was at St. Charles and that was cool. He's actually much cooler now than he was last year. Last year he wore girl pants and gross earrings. Anywho, he really was much cooler this year and apparently I told Audrey stuff about him before that made him sound icky so she thought she wouldn't like him but ended up liking him a lot. I told John he would probably hate him if he met him, but I'm not entirely sure that's true anymore. Anyways, we hung out with him most of the day that we weren't busy, which wasn't long.
The show was good. I might possibly be able to get a picture on here but probably not... I will attempt to put some on photobucket. By the time all the shows were over it was about 4 and closing was at 5 so we just sat around until it was time to go. It was kinda funny because one of the guys in charge asked me if we could play the French anthem for closing and I told him yes, then I asked Terry to make sure it was the song I thought it was, and he's like "no, it's this one!" and I'm like snap! So I asked Preston to run through the song with my drummers but they didn't know it at all, two never learned it and one didn't remember it so we kinda made an executive decision that we would play Ah Pres de ma Blonde instead of... Les Drapeux or something very weird like that. It's said like. "leh dra-POE" Anywho. Had dinner there and went back to the gym where we walked in and were nearly overpowered by the smell of sweaty boy! They were having a basketball tournament and it was still going on when we got back, so we had to wait around for like... half an hour before we could get our stuff so that was... ick. Plus the snack room was locked. I was -thirsty-, Audrey and Rachael wanted chocolate, and Dad needed to get something, so we went to this store "Shnucks" (Like Shnooks) and got stuff. Got chocolate to share with everyone else so that was nice. When we got back we looked for a place we could sleep that wouldn't be so loud (what with snoring and people not sleeping and talking instead...) and we thought we'd found a place, but that turned out to be way louder than we even thought. So we finally ended up in the locker room where we could turn all the lights off. That was amazing. Actually fell asleep at like midnight (1).

Sunday:
Woke up at 6 (7) again. We had all our stuff out and packed into the cars by 7:20 (8:20) and went over to St. Charles again. Sat around for a while, had breakfast, and church started at 9 so we went to that (on site thing, pretty little but they usually have them at events. It's cool.) but I had to leave early to get back and make sure my corp was ready for opening which started at 10:00. We actually jammed a little bit before which was cool, because we didn't jam on Saturday at all which is depressing. Opening was fine... Didn't have anything after that until 12 so we had to be back by 11:30, so Rachael, Audrey, Nick, and myself went to the ice cream place but it wasn't open yet. On the way back the funniest thing happened! There was this Indian on a balcony, and I looked up and laughed because I thought it was fake. So Rachael looked up and laughed, Nick looked and waved at it because he thought it was real, and Audrey was telling us to stop laughing at it because she also thought it was real and we were being quite rude to a real person. Then Rach and I are like "No, it's not real!" and Nick and Audrey thought it was real, for sure. So Nick yells up at it "Are you real??" which was hilarious, because he yelled at this statue. Audrey was like "How could it be fake, it's 3-D!" So we stood there for like ten minutes staring at this Indian trying to decide if it was real or not. Finally found that it didn't even have any legs and it looked much more fake when you got closer. Nick told me to run up and touch it and I was like "no! I might if I -knew- it wasn't real..." But now that I think of it, I probably wouldn't, because someone did live there and it was up a bunch of stairs. We jammed from around... 11:00 until 12. First it was just Rachael, Nick, and myself, then a couple other Voyageurs started, then some people from Janesville. Pretty soon Preston and some Tippy people, then this other random guy... So most of everyone was up on the stage jamming which is amazing=D It's funny though, because the drummers all play different things to the songs so like half the people would be playing one thing and half the people would be playing another =P We all formed up and did a massed parade during which one of the Tippy drummers jumped out and got a drink which he handed down the line of drummer and everyone drank out of, it was pretty funny. I ended up being the last one to get it so I'm like... Great, what do I do with it? So I held it for a little, then left it on a bench=P Nick broke his head during that parade, which is awesome. Lol, I told Nathanael that he broke his head and he was all "ow!!!" But when I say he broke his head what I really mean is that he broke his drum head, which is stinkin' amazing. It took him like five years to do it, but he did do it. Then he didn't have to play for the rest of the day because they didn't have any other drums with them and no extra heads.
After that we went back to the ice cream place which was actually open by that time. A couple people from Janesville ended up there too but at a different table and it was interesting... Janesville people are weird=P We went to play at the gazebo at 2, (3) but Janesville was playing at the gazebo at 2, and they always do... We'd been there for like an hour at that point (2 was when Terry told us to be there but most of them went at 1) so it was weird. Janesville always plays there, and we always play at the park so Idk why Terry changed it all weird like that. He got back though and he's all "What's going on?" and we're like "Janesville always plays here." and he's like " well, you know there's nothing saying that they get to play here and no one else can!!" and he was generally... Rather embarrassing, actually, but we ended up at the park. Voyageurs left at 2:45 (3:45) to go home, but Rachael, Dad, Audrey, and myself stayed. Mark wanted to stay with us but he couldn't get ahold of his dad=(
Rachael and I went back and talked to Janesville people for a while. I remember a couple names... Ethan is cool, Jason is cool, then there's... Bill and Josh we are there. I don't remember any other names though. Anywho, since my corp left they asked if I'd like to play with them and I'm like sure so we played with them for a little while and then joined in on the other massed parade which was actually quite lame. Sat around for a while until it was closing and Janesville asked if I'd like to march with them so I did. They have it rough, like their at ease is painful! Rachael actually I guess assumed I would play with her, but she was with 1812 and I didn't really feel that it was ok for me to play with them. So I did closing with Janesville and it was interesting because I didn't actually know their cadence or anything. Preston came over before closing and asked who I was marching with. He guessed that Rachael and I would play by ourselves, but she was with 1812. I guess he didn't think of that or something. Anywho, it was nice to not be invited to play with tippy because that would have been weird... Because I wouldn't have wanted to march with them but I would have felt rude to just tell them no=P
Finally got out of there at around 5 (6) and went home. I was supposed to make Audrey do her homework on the way, but she changed her mind and we slept most of the time. She got home something around 11 and we got home something around 12. (I'm back on Indiana time again) It was really cool of my dad to drive Audrey all the way home, because that was like two hours more driving for us than he thought we were going to do.
Yeah. That was really long. There are about a million more details and little things that happened during the weekend but I'm done writing. I would be impressed if anyone actually read this whole thing! Lol. So. St. Charles was good and I didn't feel like an idiot for all of it, which is good 'cause I thought I would=P

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Conversation Hearts

I wonder if other people ever feel like those conversation hearts you see around Valentine's day? I know I do. My family makes these little stories out of them every year, and often you'll get doubles so your "story" will end up consisting of a lot of "Call me, call me, fax me, page me, call me, email me" sequences.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Thoughts

I decided that I should be dead by now. Truly though, that wasn't my choice. What with all the bulletins and forward I -haven't- passed on, many many things should have happened to me by now. I think the dead girl is going to visit my bedroom tonight at 2:47, monsters are going to eat me, and what's-her-face's boyfriend who killed her and her parents? Yeah, he's gonna come get me too. In addition to that, I'm doomed (multiple times) to 40 years of bad relationships and trouble with guys forever. Oh and here's one of my favorites: "If you deny me before man, then your Heavenly Father will also deny you." Now I understand this, and I realize what it means... And it does not mean that I have to forward every note about how Jesus died so I'm going to get a kiss on Friday if I send it on. It does not mean that I have to repost all the bulletins or I'm going to Hell. Moving on to how much money this girl is going to get from Microsoft and AOL... Did you know they can't even track forwards, and that this girl has been deathly ill for probably 25 years? I think I should have had about a million "best days of my life", multiple kisses from the person I love, and I'm also one of the most popular people on earth because I had 20 email addresses to send it to. Then again, that's if I actually sent them. Seeing as I did not, the devil will probably come claim my soul tonight.

Monday, May 07, 2007

My insane drama week

I have much to report. Starts out on Sunday: I called Andrew and we were talking about cast parties and how much certain people helped with the play. So we decided it would be a good idea to have everyone in class give us some money and we would buy everyone who went above and beyond expectations a present. We had it all figured out, and Monday night we went to Wal Mart to pick things. Spent about an hour there and figured out what all we were getting. Tuesday we had play practice from 8 in the morning until after 1 in the afternoon. That was crazy, but we did make it through the first scene without stopping and it went relatively well, which was encouraging. Wednesday was a dress rehearsal. That was interesting. Practiced the play, ran through it on the stage at the Wesley Foundation and it was not good at all. It was a rather bad practice, especially considering one of the characters wasn't there. We also had to put a ton of stuff in this "attic" or else we would have had no backstage at all. Then there was archery. Thursday was Share the Fun, so we cleaned things and then people came over. John got to sign the wall so that was nice. I was very very happy to have my people here. Both our acts won at Share the Fun, and we actually did the flagpole too, which was random. Friday was the first day of the play.
Friday.
We went in in the morning... I went in with Dad so I could use the car, and went to Hobby Lobby. First, no one told me they moved Hobby Lobby since last I was there so it was very bad. I did end up finding it though. Wandered around there and found that their candles were 50% off, and that's what Andrew and I had picked out, but these were a lot nicer, so I picked those. Then I bought some other random things that I needed for the play, and went to Wal-Mart to get flowers. While I was there I figured I'd pick up some Subway. No big deal, right? Wrong. I called Ruth to see if she wanted any, and she did. She told me what she wanted, Rachael told me what she wanted, and then Dale (The mic guy who came with the building, lol) wanted something too. Figured that out, I thought, and then they needed black duct tape, and about a million bottles of water. That was super stressful 'cause I was trying to find everything and I was already late to practice. Then got to Subway, with my cart and everything, went to order, and Dale's sandwitch was ridiculous. He wanted a meatball thing, and they didn't have enough, so I had to call and see if it was still ok, then I needed to know what all they wanted on everything because I didn't know Dale's preferences and Ruth's were different than I thought, so I finally got out of there and I felt like an idiot. I called John and talked to him a little 'cause I was going slightly insane, hung up with him to call Dad and make sure he had the programs done since I was almost back at work. They were not done. (Thursday night Ruth, Rachael, and I were also up -really- late making programs) So I tried to figure out how to get back to Purdue and got myself hopelessly lost. Called Rachael to try and figure out where I was and she said she'd just come and get me because I was breaking down. So I parked between State and King and just sat and cried for a while. Finally got back to the Wesley Foundation, I was at least an hour later than I was supposed to be, and everyone's food was gross. Put makeup on everyone, and finally got me fixed. Ran through scene changes because they were crazy slow, and disappeared backstage. We prayed before the play and I asked Andrew if I would mess up his cravat if I gave him a hug. He said "no, this one didn't take me hours to do!" so that was funny. It was then that I decided the poor fellow was quite nervous. Anywho, the play actually went quite well, and at the intermission Sarah sneaked snacks up for us. After the play was over, we shook hands and hugged about a million times with all the random people who were at the play, then hugged everyone who was in the play, and finally changed. Sabrina left her shirt over on the other side, so I went to fetch it and walked on on Aaron with no shirt and Andrew with no pants. Got a "Oh! Hi, Hannah!" lol, and I never did find poor Sabrina's shirt. I think someone found it later though after she borrowed Acaimie's for a while. Off to Dairy Queen. There I was wedged between Mickey and Daniel... Not my favorite place to be. So I ended up sitting on the back of the chair and scooting so I was more behind Sam. Left there something around 10 I think. Came home, did dishes, and fell asleep on the couch without meaning to.
Then Saturday started. Got up, showered, took Ruth to the Wesley Foundation. I think we were there at around 11 and then I went off to get something... I don't even remember what. Oh yes, the programs from Dad (we needed more) and then to drop the car with him so Rachael could pick me up (she had the SAT that morning) and Dad could go home. I got very very lost getting out of Purdue. Again. Had no idea where I was and spend 40 minutes driving around trying to get out. I again forgot my map so that was bad. Finally made it back to Lafayette Life where Rachael still wasn't there. Called her at around 1 and she had -just- gotten out of her test. So she didn't know what was going on, I was unable to buy the stuff I needed to get because she came to get me right then so we could go have lunch with the Sabrina and her family. Left there with what we thought was plenty of time, but we went this insane way so we ended up actually being about half an hour late again. Things went much more smoothly on Saturday. Much. Everyone knew what kind of makeup they needed (except for Andrew because they said his was bad on Friday...) so it was a lot easier. We ran scene changes again, and disappeared backstage again. They play was apparently amazing on Saturday, even though neither Sabrina or I felt it, so that was strange. Andrew said a little something after the play about how amazing Ruth was, and we went off to shake hands and hug again. After that we took about a million pictures and had to load everything into cars. Left the Wesley Foundation at around... 10:30 and went to DQ again. We could only be there for a little while because they closed at 11:00, but after we got done I got in a bit of an ice war with Caitlyn, Trevor's little sister. Good times. Andrew, Sabrina, and I also stayed in costume for DQ. I must say I don't know how I ended up being invited to join in this venture, I suppose everyone else was too but I was the only one crazy enough to actually do it with them. Went home something around 11:15 where I fell asleep almost immediately in the car, but woke up to do a lot of dishes when I got home.
Sunday was the cast party, and was that every awesome. I didn't go to church, the reason being I already had a really bad headache and that place where we're meeting right now gives me one so I think my head might have exploded... Anyways, went to Attica and got stuff for Ruth that I was unable to get on Saturday, and we left for the cast party. That was totally amazing. At around 5:45 we called people in to give them their thank yous, and since Andrew and I were in charge, we did the talking. So he came out and yelled at everyone to shut up because "Hannah has something to say!" and I'm like oh great, thanks. Lol. So I was like "Well last week I called Andrew and we were talking about--" At this point, Mr. Catron jumps in and says "You're getting married?!" That got laughs and we're like "Yes, we're getting married, that's -exactly- what we were going to say." So we gave people their stuff, and Mr. Catron again came out and said something about how one of the actors was nervous about something in the play... He came out with this shotgun and Andrew went running. It was very funny. Basically there was this joke that Mr. Catron was going to shoot Andrew at the end of the play because of the slightly romantic scene he has with Sabrina. So he (being Andrew) left at 6, but actually came back because we were there so stinkin' late. People didn't leave until about 11:30 and we stayed to clean stuff up. I found during the time of this play a few things: We as a group like praying together, it's really nice. I gave out and got more hugs than ever with that group, especially from Andrew and Sam, who are not very huggy people in general. I found that I really really like Sabrina a lot. I knew I liked her, but I didn't realize how well we got along until this weekend. I found that I'll -really- miss the seniors who won't be back, especially Andrew. The others came later, but Andrew was my opposite the first year we had a high school drama class, and it'll be really weird without him. I don't know what I'll do when Sam graduates, I was in class with him before there was a high school class! I guess I'm graduating before him, so it won't be so bad. Sabrina's out next year and that's awfully sad.
So the play is over, four people will for sure not be back next year. *tear* Ok. It's alright, because I'll see them all sometime. I'm just attempting to figure out how to end this post... Another drama year is gone. I'm glad for a summer, but I sure hope Ruth gets going on next year sometime before it's here!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Animal I have become

Three Days Grace

I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)